I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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