I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
