um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Randomize
