If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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