we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What a dumb baby whore.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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