He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
