There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
