Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize