I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize