This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
