yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
