apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
