You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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