My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
