he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
