So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize