nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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