My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
