i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
