We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
