Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
