I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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