i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize