Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
