My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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