I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize