When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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