I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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