Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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