Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
