I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
