I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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