i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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