at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
