I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
