Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
