The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
