Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
