420 ftw
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
