The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
