Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
this will be a night to untag.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
