There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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