sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
