just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
