Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
