My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
how drunk are you?
Several
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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