i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
