Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Randomize
