so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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