ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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