I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
