it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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