ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
