This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
