Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
