So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
well you can't waste a boner
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
