All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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