my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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