i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's rum buckets o'clock
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
