he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
