we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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