You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
