dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
