I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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