i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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