I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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