the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
now i know why i became what i already was.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
