went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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