but the lizard people decide everything anyway
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
