i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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