I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
