I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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