Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
