THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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