i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
